I am in a bad place tonight.

That's hard with the friends, man. I felt/feel the same after moving from my hometown. I do echo the idea of not assuming malice when ignorance (of how to react) could explain it, though.

It's not easy for people to know what to say or IF you should say anything to a friend going through some E36 M3. Doubtless, some don't want to seem like gawkers, trying to get the inside scoop so they're being politely distant. Maybe reach out to them first? Dunno man, like I said, that's a hard spot and I do not envy you.

FWIW, I'm not a Marine, but I did hear some advice a chaplain to Marines said to a bunch of recruits in 2001: "you guys are missing everyone you have ever known, all the people in your life. But everyone else is just missing one person. So it's gonna feel different to you than it is to them. Try not to take it personally."

In reply to P3PPY :

Thanks, man. I appreciate the perspective.

Huge thanks to everyone who checked on me over the weekend, either via this thread or text message.

I really appreciate the support.

Recon1342 said:

Huge thanks to everyone who checked on me over the weekend, either via this thread or text message.

 

I really appreciate the support.

More Pirate Metal you say???!?

So remember that Alestorm song that's banned in Australia and filled with foul language? Yeah.....they do a children's version for charity. Yes, a child version of berkeleyed With An Anchor, and here it is

Hey Recon, just wanted you to know we are still here thinking of you!

In reply to bbbbRASS :

Thanks!

It wasn't the best weekend, but it wasn't the worst either.

Got a lot of household stuff done, but no opportunity to work on the truck due to crappy weather.

Recon1342 said:

In reply to bbbbRASS :

Thanks!

It wasn't the best weekend, but it wasn't the worst either.

Got a lot of household stuff done, but no opportunity to work on the truck due to crappy weather.

More Pirate Metal you say???

Here is the first in the epic Wooden Leg Saga, you have to start with the first so you can follow the storyline right? 

Recon1342 said:

In reply to bbbbRASS :

Thanks!

It wasn't the best weekend, but it wasn't the worst either.

Got a lot of household stuff done, but no opportunity to work on the truck due to crappy weather.

Almost sounds like a normal weekend.  Returning to normal might be a good thing.

In reply to Stampie :

It's kinda nice, for sure. 

Papers have been filed. 

House is being prepped for sale.

Group went really well last night, and I see the VA counselor tomorrow. 

The friend group is being more proactive about reaching out, and I am being more understanding of the fact that everyone is dealing with lots of emotions.

I'm not actually doing too bad at this point...

In reply to Recon1342 :

That's good stuff.  Is this your first real session with a counselor?

In reply to Stampie :

In this situation, yes.

I have been to counseling before, but not the VA, and not with an eye toward PTSD screening/diagnosis.

In reply to Recon1342 :

There are some great modalities out there for trauma now, I’m happy for you with that. 

I figured I'd toss a quick update out for y'all out here in GRM land...

My initial therapy session on Thursday went well. The therapist and I clicked almost immediately, so I'm pretty optimistic. 

Tuesday group classes are also going very well, and I am learning some healthy coping skills. 

Had a good weekend with friends. 

And talked to the ReconGirls on Sunday. 

Sounds like you're racking up some wins. Keep it up!

In reply to Recon1342 :

Been following along in the shadows and just wanted to say keep it up!!!   I am so glad to see where you are now.  

Glad to see this update!

You’ve got this Recon, keep moving forward. 

Hang in there, you go this.

Once again, heartfelt thanks to everybody who keeps checking in on me.

Listing for the house goes live on Nov 7th... 

I have acquired a rental house; move in date is tentatively set for Nov. 20th.

Girls are doing really well, Eldest daughter has ankle surgery on Friday. Daughter #2 is on the cheer squad at her new HS, Daughter #3 has A's and B's for the first time ever, and Daughter #4 is a smart little goober who may be skipping 6th grade next year and going to 7th.

Still having bad moments, but they are getting fewer and milder as I continue to progress.

In reply to Recon1342 :

I had to look back at your first post but it's been almost 2.5 months since this started.  Seems that you are in a much better place and better able to handle things.  It takes a lot for a person to look inward and improve themselves in a situation like this.  Most people fold and blame the universe.  Good on you.

I don't recall, where are you staying now?  I'm really glad to read your progress.  Keep it going one day at a time.  When I first moved out and into my own rental it was a pretty big, albeit short, setback.  It just felt very sad to have my own place...alone.  Hopefully that won't happen to you, but if it does keep your head up.  The new normal will continue to make itself clear and you'll adapt to it.

In reply to SKJSS (formerly Klayfish) :

Right now, I am in the house that we owned, and it is just me...

So I've adjusted to being alone, and the idea of a new home without the ghosts of the old one is not scary, but rather comforting.

Recon1342 said:

In reply to SKJSS (formerly Klayfish) :

Right now, I am in the house that we owned, and it is just me...

So I've adjusted to being alone, and the idea of a new home without the ghosts of the old one is not scary, but rather comforting.

I agree it's rather comforting to be in a place without the ghosts of the past.  After my wife and I decided to divorce I stayed in the house for many months.  It was great to have a fresh start and be in my own place.  I guess the point I was trying to make is that at least for me the first week was still tough and weird.  It was awesome to start fresh, but also it put some finality and stark realization of the situation.  All the things you said are true and I bounced back very quickly and felt much better than I had in a very long time.  I just didn't want you to be surprised if those feelings materialize when you first move.  If they do, stay strong because they won't last long at all.

I'm so happy to see your progress because I've been empathizing with you every step of the way.  I know almost precisely what you're going through.  I know how bright the light at the end of the tunnel is and it's awesome to see you moving that way!!

In reply to SKJSS (formerly Klayfish) :

Thank you.

I'm glad things are improving, and I'm very happy it sounds like your kids are doing well navigating that changes. 


As other have said, even if we don't post in here often or very much at all, your GRM family has you in their thoughts.